27/01/2017 Issue 3

This week Arsene Wenger lost the plot!

He swears his shove on Fourth Official, Anthony Taylor, was merely a demonstration of a lifesaving technique should an oncoming lorry burst through the tunnel. I joke of course, poor Arsene was seriously disturbed by the strange things going on at the Emirates that day. The Gunners 2-1 win over struggling Burnley was anything but normal. Arsenal went into the lead at the beginning of the second half through a Shkodran Mustafi goal, only to play the final 25 minutes with 10-men after the sending off of Granit, “oh shiny red card”, Xhaka (he will now miss the next 4 games). Burley were awarded a penalty which was converted by Andre Grey in extra time levelling the scoring. An enraged Arsene had a run in with the fourth official and was sent to the stands – only he refused to go. The Frenchman had a tantrum in the tunnel as he continued his protest, and like a little toddler who doesn’t get his own way he barged the official. Keep it classy, Arsene. However, his sulking would soon be over and within the 8th minute of extra time Arsenal were rewarded a rather controversial penalty. Alexi Sanchez stepped up, and executed a cool finish from the spot. Wenger was charged with misconduct by the Football Association following the incident. He has accepted the charges.

The man famous for his big jackets, may wish to invest in a straight one. Keep those hands to yourself Arsene ya mad man!

Chapecoense played their first match since the devastating plane crash in a friendly against Palmeiras. The crash which took 71 lives, including 19 Chapecoense players and staff, has caused great devastation and the match provided an insight into the rebuilding process which will plague the club for many years to come. Over the past month, the club have signed 22 new players and found a new manager in Vagner Mancini. On Saturday Chapecoense’s only survivors – Neto, Andy Ruschel and Jackson Follman – were presented with the Copa Sudamericana trophy and received their medals as they choked back their tears. Medals were also rewarded to the victims’ families. The match was stopped on the 71st minute as a tribute to the 71 lives lost. The game finished 2-2.

Our thoughts are with Chape. 

Celta Vigo knocked Real Madrid out of the Copa del Rey, taking them into the semi-finals of the Kings Cup. Eduardo Berizzo’s team drew 2-2 on the night, and progressed to the next round with a 4-3 aggregate score line. Barcelona also reached the semi-finals, thrashing Real Sociedad 5-2, winning the tie with a 6-2 aggregate overall. Barcelona will face Atletico Madrid in the semi-final and Celta Vigo will meet Alaves.

Southampton will meet Manchester United at Wembley in the EFL Cup Final on February 26th. The Saints swept aside Klopp’s Liverpool with a 2-0 aggregate over two legs. The last time Southampton lifted a trophy in 1976 was in the FA Cup against EFL cup opponents Manchester United. United knocked Hull out of the cup despite losing the second leg 2-1. The 2-0 lead from the first leg was enough to push them through to the final at Wembley. They won the tie with a 3-2 aggregate score. The Saints ended United’s 17 game unbeaten run, and Mourinho refused to accept it. He insisted that “they did not lose” and that the score was “1-1”. Dear, dear.

Wayne Rooney surpassed Sir Bobby Charlton to become Manchester United’s all-time greatest goal scorer netting 250 goals after 13 seasons at Old Trafford. He scored the equalizer in the game against Stoke on Saturday to tie the game 1-1. Man Utd currently sit 6th in the Premier League table.

Celtic equal a 50-year record, set by Jock Stein’s Lisbon Lions, of 26 domestic games unbeaten. The Hoops came away with all 3 points on Wednesday night against St Johnstone, to complete their 16th straight league victory. The Saints proved to be difficult opponents for the Champions, who only managed to come away with a 1-0 win at Parkhead through a Dedryck Boyata header in the second half. Skipper, Scott Brown, set his own record by making his 400th appearance for the club.

The Scottish Cup turned up the heat this week as Hearts and Raith, and Queens Park and Ayr met in their fourth-round replays. Both fixtures went into extra time with Hearts and Ayr coming out on top in their respective games. The Jambos have set up a fifth-round tie with city rivals Hibernian, meanwhile Ayr will face either Clyde or Stirling Albion who are yet to play their cup replay after drawing 2-2 at Forthbank Stadium. The Honest Men made a bit of cup history at Hampden. For the first time in the tournament’s history a 4th substitute was used. Ayr United used their fourth substitute in extra-time with Michael Rose replacing Nicky Devlin. The substitute, Rose, came on late in the 121st minute and made a huge impact in the game, scoring from the spot in the penalty shoot outs which Ayr eventually won by 5 goals to 4. The new rule, which allows a fourth replacement in extra-time, was announced by the SFA in September last year.  The Scottish Cup fifth-round ties will be played on the weekend of 11th/12th February.

PS. If you haven’t seen it, watch the Scottish Cup draw being made. You’ll piss your frillies! Click the link at the bottom of article. Sir Rod Stewart is comedy gold!

 

 

 ONES TO WATCH

STRAIGHT JACKET FOR HIM

Arsene picks a fight: https://youtu.be/BRhgTWhbOiI

 

CHAPECOENSE

Football remembers: https://youtu.be/JYj0ihLh5lw

 

CELTA VIGO

Vigo v Real match highlights: https://youtu.be/a06xalMCYos

 

BARCELONA

Barca v Real Sociedad match highlights: https://youtu.be/zgw20yKDeHk 

 

SOUTHAMPTON

Liverpool v Southampton match highlights: https://youtu.be/rtiBvgPs-Sk

 

MANCHESTER UNITED

Hull v Man Utd match highlights: https://youtu.be/5JAwUCDiqDI

 

WAYNE ROONEY 

Pundits have their say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnpw0cfyYlg

Tribute: https://youtu.be/PeoTU-L-aZo

 

RECORD BREAKERS

Celtic’s new heroes surpass the Lisbon Lions: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/scotland/38757778

 

SCOTTISH CUP 

Historic 4th sub: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/38744412

Hearts v Raith Rovers – the Replay: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/scotland/38760542  

Sir Rod does the draw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YlZQN09w-Y 

 

 

 

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